Girls think about masturbation from a completely different point of view.
Zooey Deschanel is ridiculously hot. As is Katy Perry. Threesome please.
Kim Jong-Il is a bigger movie buff than I can ever hope to be. And I'm ok with that.
-C
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Long time no see.
Hello devoted readers!
...or lack there of.
Well, Im still alive, and as far as I know so are my 2 other blog-mates.
Alot has happened since the last post, perhaps we will tell you about it.
...or lack there of.
Well, Im still alive, and as far as I know so are my 2 other blog-mates.
Alot has happened since the last post, perhaps we will tell you about it.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
I think therefore I am
Do you ever get the feeling that the world would be better off if you just went back to bed? My pale and purple is breath is stepping down is pessimism, or being yanked around by the universe, is a pillar of salt. We could always see the sharpest definition of trees and sound waves. The sky is not blue, it is negative space; the universe is an invention, what have we seen, really? What is it to promise someone you will live?
We intimately knew the same aloneness and the same drowning months. After a while we stopped thinking about it, or at least stopped talking about it with each other. History was numb. We tried very hard at living.
-M
We intimately knew the same aloneness and the same drowning months. After a while we stopped thinking about it, or at least stopped talking about it with each other. History was numb. We tried very hard at living.
-M
Monday, October 29, 2007
I win
Today, I beat Camen to getting an iPhone. Hes sad, i'm not. Woohoo!
I believe that it is the most streamlined device on earth. It also may or may not have eternal life capabilities.
Either way, I redefined love... and lust.
-K
PS: I may post a review, so stay tuned.
I believe that it is the most streamlined device on earth. It also may or may not have eternal life capabilities.
Either way, I redefined love... and lust.
-K
PS: I may post a review, so stay tuned.
The best analogy I have seen all day...
Regarding a pair of skis made by vokle, called "bridges". Over heard on Newschoolers.
"But really, My friend has the bridges and says that when you ski them its like seeing your first pair of tits. For some, that may mean a really awkward moment, but I think he meant that they were pretty fucking sick."
Check out newschoolers.com for all your freestyle and park skiing information needs.
-C
"But really, My friend has the bridges and says that when you ski them its like seeing your first pair of tits. For some, that may mean a really awkward moment, but I think he meant that they were pretty fucking sick."
Check out newschoolers.com for all your freestyle and park skiing information needs.
-C
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Thong-tastic Mortification
Tonight, i inventoried my underwear drawer and, lo and behold, the best pair i own is held together with a safety pin. Can you say *fucking* ghetto? yeah. So i tell mom i need underwear, she says "well i'm going to kmart, lets just get some there." I say, "Sounds swell!" (Nevermind that buying underwear from kmart is probably not even cool enough to call ghetto.)
And we are on our merry way.
I get assloads of underwear, the sexy kinds that don't come in packages and will not fall apart. (well... i am sort of a sex fiend so thats not a guarantee...)
We head to the check out line. Peripheral vision: the clerk is some young guy, but no big deal, its not a secret that humans wear undergarments right? I gleefully pile my wealth on the little rubber strip thing, he rings them up.... and the glitch.
Computer malfunction. Typical. Overcharged. (The benefit of a sale is so negated by spastic computers adding random extra items to the receipt.)
Evidently this is too much for the poor lad. He is very apologetic and quite obviously a clerking noob. I tilt my head to the side, his steadfast shy mannerisms seem so familiar... my eyes wander towards his plastic nametag...
"KARL"*
Karl... Karl?
Long ago, in a church youth group far away...
I know this guy.
shit shit shit shit shyyyiiiit
We spend the next half-an-hour with him and another clacky-nailed woman, attempting to "fix" things. Picking up each individual piece of underwear over and over again to find the price tag. Can you say orange thong? lace? thong? ORANGE? His mumblesome little voice, "Wullll um lets see here ummmerrrr-" plucks at the ass-floss -"i think i rang this up twice..."
At this point, I am asking myself why I ever wanted to wear underwear anyways. Something along the lines of, I-am-SO-cool-with-going-commando-the-rest-of-my-life-now-lets-GO.
Oh the thong-tastic mortification.
-M
*Name changed for his protection
And we are on our merry way.
I get assloads of underwear, the sexy kinds that don't come in packages and will not fall apart. (well... i am sort of a sex fiend so thats not a guarantee...)
We head to the check out line. Peripheral vision: the clerk is some young guy, but no big deal, its not a secret that humans wear undergarments right? I gleefully pile my wealth on the little rubber strip thing, he rings them up.... and the glitch.
Computer malfunction. Typical. Overcharged. (The benefit of a sale is so negated by spastic computers adding random extra items to the receipt.)
Evidently this is too much for the poor lad. He is very apologetic and quite obviously a clerking noob. I tilt my head to the side, his steadfast shy mannerisms seem so familiar... my eyes wander towards his plastic nametag...
"KARL"*
Karl... Karl?
Long ago, in a church youth group far away...
I know this guy.
shit shit shit shit shyyyiiiit
We spend the next half-an-hour with him and another clacky-nailed woman, attempting to "fix" things. Picking up each individual piece of underwear over and over again to find the price tag. Can you say orange thong? lace? thong? ORANGE? His mumblesome little voice, "Wullll um lets see here ummmerrrr-" plucks at the ass-floss -"i think i rang this up twice..."
At this point, I am asking myself why I ever wanted to wear underwear anyways. Something along the lines of, I-am-SO-cool-with-going-commando-the-rest-of-my-life-now-lets-GO.
Oh the thong-tastic mortification.
-M
*Name changed for his protection
Five Things to Avoid
Five Things to Avoid If You Are Sleep-Deprived/Cranky/Touchy-as-Fuck.
1. People who are overly enthusiastic about anything. (especially the newest addition to their self-help library that they are certain you will "absolutely love.")
2. Recordings of early-19th century brass arrangements.
3. People who interrupt you to tell you they can't hear you.
4. Low cell phone batteries.
5. Dead leaves that periodically glance against the window (they may induce a spaz-tastic seizure because they look like fucking. birds.)
-M
1. People who are overly enthusiastic about anything. (especially the newest addition to their self-help library that they are certain you will "absolutely love.")
2. Recordings of early-19th century brass arrangements.
3. People who interrupt you to tell you they can't hear you.
4. Low cell phone batteries.
5. Dead leaves that periodically glance against the window (they may induce a spaz-tastic seizure because they look like fucking. birds.)
-M
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